Some months ago the fate of Avistrum Academy of Sorcery was put in the malicious hands of one Algernon Beaudroux. Since his escape there have been several sightings nationwide of this dastardly wizard. Algernon seems to lean into that spotlight as many of his sightings seem almost theatrical.
The National Wizarding Bank of Chicago was the first to experience a puzzling crime in the hands of Algernon. Brandishing a wand like a train robber of the old west, he demanded three million galleons straight from the vault. Eye witnesses report this event as highly disturbing not for any threats made but rather for their captor’s relaxed manner. Several people in the bank at the time say he “chatted calmly” with them as the bankers scrambled to appease his request. Latrisha Tilden, a young banker, seemed the most unsettled recalling “he came up [to me] with this snake oil smile and politely asked for a single galleon from my drawer… just one.” Though the head bankers had almost finished bagging his three million galleons, Algernon bowed with a flourish to his hostages as he promptly left the bank with none but a single galleon.
Chicago Aurors were stumped, but not as much as Tyler Rodero, a muggle man from San Antonio. The 35-year-old school teacher was reported missing by his school’s principal after a class of screaming first graders came to tell him “a funny guy with a stick took Mr. Rodero and went poof”. One child told Muggle police that it “must have been The Flash”. Fortunately, the school teacher was found a few short hours later in a pancake house just south of San Antonio. He was casually munching some blueberry pancakes with nothing more than some rope burns, confusion, and an empty plate at the seat across from him. Rodero told Aurors that Algernon resembled “a villain out of a kid show”. His actions seemed to match this description when Rodero went on to tell that he had been tied up in an abandoned warehouse. “He was just about to punch me square in the face” Rodero recalls “when suddenly he just smiled at me. Asked if I was hungry and said he could really go for some pancakes.” Perplexed further by his kidnappers sudden mood shifts, Rodero didn’t argue when Algernon left the pancake house suddenly leaving only a shiny Chicago galleon as payment.
Apparently unsatisfied by his novice crimes, Algernon stepped up his game a week ago in Syracuse, New York where a muggle sheriff was taken from her son’s basketball game. Judy Simpose was missing for two days before an anonymous tip was placed to Muggle police. leading them to a lake side cabin not thirty miles from the school. Authorities rushed Simpose to the hospital for multiple lacerations and a broken arm. After two days of recovery Aurora were able to take a statement from the woman. Out of her wits, Simpose repeated the words of her assailant “he has to see”. Trained to keep calm under pressure, the sheriff said she then kept the man talking. It was here where Algernon divulged his name and motivation for the attack; “to get his attention.”
There are many speculations as to whom this menacing maniac is referring. All that’s known for certain is that Algernon purchased tickets to San Francisco under Stimpose’s information.
While Algernon’s most recent actions seem trivial in comparison to some of the darkness we’ve witnessed of the world, The Morning Oracle would like to urge caution. Several people are feeling the effects of his puckish behavior from mild discomfort and fear to hospitalization. These acts are being treated as practical jokes by Algernon while, in reality, they’re putting many lives and the wizarding world at risk.
Note: A portion of this article first appeared in the print edition of the Morning Oracle for Starfest 2017